feeling like a sick dead cat. feel tired sian and crampy. and i have zero appointments for wed thurs friday. feel like rotting away coz i've hit threshold and cannot be bothered to do anymore sales for this month altho boss keeps nagging at me to work harder to bring in more sales, therefore MAYBE *a very unlikely maybe* she will confirm me. but i can wait long long lah i know she WON't confirm me.

find that i get very irritated easily nowadays.
like how i hate it when guys whine. i super super super hate it. gives me goosebumps. its utterly disgusting.

on the upside, i have some sales for april and i'm going to ask for pro-rated threshold level. coz i'm going to san francisco end next week. with mother, joy and jeanne. to recee for this year's high fliers event. *yay yay yay yay yay*

bleagh i'm so lethargic and sian i almost have no energy to type. i should just pack up and go home.

bleaghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

im tired.

this week is damn sian. i was so burnt out from over-working last week so i didnt pick up momentum til thursday. then whatever i closed yesterday and today, by the time the transaction will go through, its april already. so yeah good start for april lah but i need blardy sales for march! boss knows i've got sales these 2 days but officially i got to report zero. tmd.

i hate selling deposits. seriously seriously hate selling deposits. i would MUCH rather sell unit trusts. easier to close. and deposits ah... tmd its ALWAYS the damn wife who will poison the case! classic example: today i had a customer i called last night. 30k can. he signed everything already but insisted on joint account with wife. so wife got to sign also. she came and then said, no lah normal FD can get better rates! dont tie up the $ yada yada yada. so there goes my 30k. i know i can easily get it back from selling unit trusts lah but this is why i HATE selling f**king deposits.

today i just might break my trend of crazy friday nights. i just need some time to bum around at home, which i havent had enough of this week. ok i might drink with yx later at night lah but its actually the 2nd time this month i've reached home while the sky is still light. its such a good feeling to come home early (i cooked up an excuse to skip end week meeting again haha) and to have time to myself. me me me me me. =)

anyway if u scroll through this blog u might notice i've never blogged in green. green has never been my colour (except this olive green eyeshadow from MAC which i have. not to be buay hiao bai but it looks good on my skin) mayb e what they say about colour therapy is true. green calms the mind.

so does this drawing here. i just drew it, haha... my way of destressing.

seems like a LOT of people are leaving my bank. a few in my batch have tendered resignation and gone through their last day at the bank already; someone whom i didnt think will leave the bank has also tendered resignation. yes i know everyone will move on. but how time flies.

to add in a funny comment w made on msn last night - coz yesterday evening me, tbh and jess finished a WHOLE BLARDY TIN OF NUTS that w just bought. somemore jess was saying its the last can in cold storage. but what to do when u display food in front of us and tell us we cannot eat until the operations ppl are ready? so we eat w's nuts (no pun intended haha). so here's what w said on msn last night: u know one thing that i am still amazed is that despite all the calories counting and stuffs u gals managed to finish my tin of nuts in 15mins flat. hahaha so true but come on lah when girls are hungry we need to EAT. hahaha...

anyway think some of u know that i've changed tables for 6 weeks due to cubby rotation in the office. today is week #3 and so far i'm pretty happy in the new cubby. i don't get stupid interruptions from walk in customers while i'm trying to do work
"where do i open an account?"
"can i pay my credit card bill here?"
"where do i apply for a credit card?"
"what is your FD rate right now?"
are some of the most common questions i encountered sitting at the table outside.

anyway here's a picture of the cubby when tbh has just tidied it up.

neat hor. the 2 "zao cai mao" or fortune cats (yes i think they're freaking ugly too. but if they bring me business who cares?) is one mine one tbh's. mine's the white one i think it looks less obiang then the gold one haha.

then here's the cubby when i have it all to myself (tbh was off that day and i stayed back to do paperwork).

u noe how they say that a tiger never changes its spots? well i think i'll be perpetually messy haha. look at these pics taken while i was in uni studying.

ok lah prob this doesnt look too messy yet but amongst the huge mess of photos i have this is prob one of the better illustrations. this photo has the messy feel to it coz i remember me and him were studying on a tidy table outside starbucks which is sure NOT enuf space for 2 people to work comfortably.

but then again here u can see that i always like to file my notes nicely b4 i study, and that i love those skinny marker pens (me and yl had like a whole dozen of them and we'll share colours during lectures haha)

end this with an answer to sam:

gal i have totally forgotten about my "bao" nickname until u reminded me. that was soooo long ago in end year 1/early year 2 can.

its monday morning and im TIRED. tired grouchy and broke. coz i just spent a ridiculous amount of $ yesterday shopping and i havent even unpacked the stuff yet. blardy hell...

in replies to your posts guys:
sam - the rabbit's called berrry. in rememberance of my hamsters which u named peanut and butter. hahaha...

felicia - i wanted a puppy too! but i work ridiculously long hours and i cant bring a puppy into the bank. else i'll DEFINITELY get a puppy.

bear - eh excuse me hor. im not THAT terrible can. dont make my rabbit sound like its life is so jialat can...

chris - u can see her. ask u to come visit me u die die dont want. so not my problem hahaha...

anyway i should get back to work. the afternoon looks very long and busy and im just not sure i have enough energy to finish the day.

last night was the first night this week i could relax - had proper drinks with mw and pat as agreed. worked soooooo hard this week. well at least up to yesterday, i had the largest sales volume this week. seriously needed it to bring myself up to threshold run rate, so at least thresh looks possible this month compared to a week ago.

boss will kill me if she found out what i did yesterday afternoon. i knew there was a sales meeting at 5 which i wasnt interested to attend, but i did want to use the system after i finished all my appointments yesterday afternoon. therefore i cant go back to branch else i definitely will have to go for the meeting. coincidentally the nearest bank branch after my last appointment was st's branch. so i went over and used her computer system - kill 2 birds with one stone. i get to do my work in peace and i dont have to listen to end week sales meeting.

anyway, last night - bottle of moet, bottle of red, some sangria for mw, and 20 shots for the 3 of us. dont ask me what those shooters were, i also dunno =) but they're sweet and not as strong as new asia drinks generally are. wasn't smashed when i came back, but had a good night guys. lets do it again sometime.

anyway i bought my rabbit! its a dwarf rabbit from netherlands and cost approximately 10 times more than a generic local rabbit. love her to bits....spoil her a bit too much i think haha. but at least she keeps my lifestyle in control - i either cannot come back to late, or i have to come back in the evening to feed her b4 i go out again. she's not too happy when she's fed late and kept hungry.

never thought i would hear myself say this, but i've been working pretty hard this week. didnt want to mention it til last night, when yj commented that i looked tired. it seems that no matter how hard i run for sales, the numbers dont increase as fast as i want them to. well at least it helped that boss said she knows i've been working hard.

i have an appointment in about an hour - should start getting ready to leave my place soon. looked through the person's investment holdings and i think chances of walking away with fresh funds looks low. sigh. this will probably result in less than a hundred revenue points for me. (threshold for commission is ~14000 points!) but i CANNOT SOUND SO NEGATIVE.... need to think positive need to think positive...

i need to work harder. this week, the hours seem to go by so quickly, thats y i stayed in office til so late. im like, what!?!?!? the bank's closed and i havent gotten very much done!

i m booked solid this week. ALL my evenings are packed - i dont even have time to go for half an hour of retail therapy at night, neither do i have time to pick a rabbit. i'm serious about wanting one. worst case, i'll get the rabbit on sunday. it seems like the ONLY day this week that i have some time for myself.

anyway, after a short conversation with him last night, i realised that he's changed so much in such a short period of time. u're no longer the person i thought i knew, and maybe u didnt really know me after all. whatever the case is, i think i'm over you. live your life your way, and good luck to you. i may still miss u, but thats the end. that saying is so true - life moves on. and being so busy at work and my social life has kept me occupied enough that i realise i no longer have a place for u in my life.

i just saw the cutest collection of rabbits ever. ok prob i dont go look at rabbits very often but these are called lop-eared rabbits and they are CUTE. fluffy furry things. and i want one! hahaha.. they cost a whole lot more than your regular rabbit though. but i want a rabbit!

ok ppl lay off the comments about the picture. i'll change it later tonight IF i have time.

stoning at work now while waiting for tbh to finish with a customer so we can go for lunch and i can have my caffeine. throat is a bit bad...must be all the alcohol i've been inhaling. haha last night was fun. with ym, yx and yj. i have known u guys all through our days as civil engineers but i have never had such a drinking session with u all.

the 2 shots of bacardi 151 each really did it in i think. it was a short potent drinking session haha. at least i managed to wake up this morning for my appointment in AMK. very proud that i got there on time! have not been at somewhere 9am on the dot, for a really long time. surprisingly i got away WITHOUT reading a map and jus driving in the general direction until i found where i was looking for hahaha. <>

will a big ticket drop out of the sky? *innocent eyes* i really really really need it.

shit i've been drinking the past 3 nights with different people. tonight am quite gone... still quite drunk now as i type this LOL. 2 glasses of wine with very potent martini and sausages is NOT a good combination. i should lay off the alcohol, but quite fucked up these days with stress at work and trying to forget a certain someone.

boss is NOT going to confirm me, i gathered that much from my conversation today with her. wth... i should seriously do up my resume again and look for new jobs but the idea of doing resume all over again sucks. i need some luck for sales... am in seriously bad condition this month.

it was a good evening guys. i'll see u 2 next friday - time to get really smashed.

i still miss him.

i realized it in the funniest manner. this morning when i was getting ready for work, i had the usual ritual of picking my clothes. came across this skirt, which i last wore on the last time i saw him. its as though i had some funny way of preserving those last memories, coz i didnt want to wear that skirt today. its as though by wearing the skirt again, it would wash away those memories. and just maybe, im not ready to let go of them yet.

i love this photo with amy and sam. think we ALL look good =)

think im a bit intoxicated at this point LOL

and at the end of the night...

only the poor birthday boy was gone. the rest of us were all standing and sober (which is more than what i can say for our other dbl o experiences. i once recall everyone buying rounds and only 2 left standing at the end of the night (not me. i was quite gone that night i recall.) funny how time flies, that was a good 3plus plus years ago already. i miss the clubbing times with the LT10 people. the good ol' days in sch...sigh.

seems like alcoholic week this week.

tues night - out for drinks at bala. couple of girl-friends. met a new fren.
i haven't been to bala for months!!!!!! since the last time there with the TPBs. amazing that its been over 6months coz confirmation's coming up.

wed night - supposed to drink too. didnt go in the end.

tonight - drinks session planned. hope it goes through and no one gets so tied down with work they dont want to go out. haha..

tmr night - drinks session planned. with tzewei n gang.

need my drug doses to calm frazzled nerves... caffeine, nicotine, alcohol.

why?

coz work is f**king stress.... as of the first of the month yesterday there's 1 in branch with 300k plus and one with more than 150k plus. so my measly 70k looks pathetic. switching case of 10k is literally negligible.

to sidetrack, i kinda hate people who are pretty new and bitch so much at work. i mean, if you wanna complain, go ahead and complain to your bf/gf, your other friends, colleagues not in your immediate work area etc. but to be so new and to make so much noise about non-impt things all day everyday all the time just gets on my nerves. esp when your complaining results in measures taken which affects the ENTIRE f**king office in your immediate vicinity.

so now the snake shows its true colours.

to me i can actually see that its a good thing in a way - such changes make me learn to be more flexible and to continue my work when surroundings change. toughens me up, when i learn to counter this it probably will increase my work experience in a certain sense. but a small part of me is still unhappy.

well, like what one of the office personnel (although not in my immediate working area) told me, its funny how the same kind will find themselves and sit together.