happy belated bday to me!!!!!!!!!!

the best present to myself - i got a job offer. freaking low pay, got to start work at an ungodly 730 am and got to entertain alot! u ever heard of going for interviews where all 3 rounds they ask u whether u're a drinker and how good a drinker u are?!?!?

so anyway, i slept my whole bday away. then went drinking from 7pm to 5am hahahaha. so typical me right.

started at 7pm when i went eski bar with hs.

then shangri-la blu with w and b.

then i hit...

with a bunch of ppl from my ex-bank that i know but dont often hang out with. ok lah was fun. kissed one of them in front of the whole table hahaha. then yl was there with her bank, so we got 2 guys from the LT clique to come down too. spent the night running ard betw the 2 bunches.

was a fun night...nice way to celebrate my bday considering i didnt plan a single shit for it.

here's some snippets of a fucking funny conversation betw me and w.
it prob wont look that funny on msn, but its for me in future when i feel down/depressed/upset so that when i read this it'd bring a smile to my face again.
was literally laughing my head off.

-look at my previous post, u'll be sure to know which one is me-

i am very shy, and i cannot drink one .. says:
im still damn amused by my msn nick

Am shuddering with Boregasm says:
u know why??

i am very shy, and i cannot drink one .. says:
y

Am shuddering with Boregasm says:
have u seen a bored fish though they stay in a fish tank??

i am very shy, and i cannot drink one .. says:
wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyne!!!!!!!!!

i am very shy, and i cannot drink one .. says:
freaking ass u

Am shuddering with Boregasm says:
everytime u swim pass u will wooo thats a new place woo

i am very shy, and i cannot drink one .. says:
wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyne!

Am shuddering with Boregasm says:
wooo thats an interesting nick



Am shuddering with Boregasm says:
so late? go earlier lah

Am shuddering with Boregasm says:
then u get drunk faster then can go home faster

i am very shy, and i cannot drink one .. says:
i wont get drunk idiot

Am shuddering with Boregasm says:
yah never seen a fish overdose on water

Do u believe me?

hahaha...thats what i went around telling people over the weekend. the v shy part came was when wayne asked me to join his colleagues if i wanted to drink and i refused...quoting the very shy reason. cannot drink - spouted out of my mouth sometime in zouk on friday.

if u know me, u'll know that its utter rubbish. a totally blatant lie. from the responses i got from so many, yeah i think u guys know me well. the best way to put it is to quote wayne on msn last night: "shy my ass, cannot drink my freaking ass."

this is funny..i shall put this on my msn nick for the next few days.

i wanna go drink again! didnt drink enough on friday night and was in the wrong attire to go zouk on saturday with charles. hmmmm...

anyway, bought mog 2 shirts yesterday, since he's grown too big to look good in his older clothes. thought this "spoilt rotten" one suits him perfectly.

kinda feeling better after jus chilling for 2 days. anyway finally decided to load some pics of mog.. so for those of u who complained that there's no recent pics of mog...

*btw yx, thanks for calling from aussie. but he was around so it wasnt convenient to talk... if u called to scold me for breaking my promise to not cut myself again, sorry ok. but call me back when u see this*

and here's ah mog on national day. still looking tiny...



here's his infamous watermelon house which i bought after eyeing it in the pet shop for a week. and yes peeps, he loves it. faithfully sleeps in this everynight (and the watermelon has migrated from the kitchen to my bedroom. so this incredibly spoilt fella sleeps in the watermelon at night, and when he wakes up at daybreak to find one of my goosefeather pillows on the floor, he comfortably hops onto it and snoozes. that sure is a good life for a dog...)

lookin' like a meercat with untrimmed ear fur...

and here's ah mog's most recent pic, taken couple of days back. he's now so big that he cant fit into the abovementioned national day shirt. and he's gone from dog size 1 to size 2... so this yellow adidog shirt is the only shirt he can currently wear out of all his clothes. that polka dotted thing on the floor is his new toy. its a fish shaped toy... this fella has enough toys to leave one lying in every room of the apartment.

and a random shot of me, untouched up and un-photoshopped.

this dress was interesting....its actually not a dress but a skirt. which i got tired of wearing and one day a couple of mths back when i had no clothes to wear, i fashioned it into a halter empire-cut dress and went to work liddat. also another unphotoshopped picture and it was the end of a long day so no comments on whether i look ugly fat tired watevershit.


and to show off the small kid in me (and wayne. a small kid in my case is NOT a baby lamb!!! haha...) this is what i bought mths ago when i went to candy empire with wayne. damn cute right...haha... it now sits on my kitchen sink.

spent the whole weekend arguing since saturday night. and its already monday lunchtime and i still dont feel its settled. it started off when i brought up the subject of marriage and asked him if he sees us being tghr in the future. and when he said he doesnt know, i got quite pissed. after so long, if he doesnt know whether he sees a future then im speechless.

and the whole thing dragged on and on...

basically by evening yesterday he wanted to go home for dinner, and he made quite a few nasty remarks b4 he left. so i was so pissed when he left that i went back to my old habit of cutting my hand. well only cut once coz the knife was new and i didnt know it was that freaking sharp. so when i told him about it and he at first said he'll come back the same night to see me. (his original intention was to spend the night at home)

anyway, when he came back he still wasnt happy with me and made me pay him the cab fare. its quite sad to think of it, coz its like im not even worth a cab fare. i know im definitely worth more than that. but why am i worth so little to him? it makes me tear when i think of it.

im like so so tired of this... im right now in the phase where if something isnt making progression, then its time to switch out. thats y i left my job, and prob thats y i want to leave him too. so many of u are right, that each time i say i want to leave him i end up taking him back. but this time is for real, we both admitted we're unhappy and considered splitting so seriously that we both cried. so yeah, maybe this would be the real thing.

he doesnt understand y i feel so strongly against his sister abt her pregnancy, and the best way i could put it to him was: u made me abort 2 kids. and now ure so happy that she's pregnant. u wont ever understand how i feel, ure the one who still can have kids next time and maybe i wont be able to. how do u expect me to feel happy for her when the last op was exactly a year ago?

and when i went totally psycho on him, i screamed this phrase. "you wont ever be able to return those two to me".

yes, if ure reading this i know i look and sound totally nuts. bt maybe its a combination of being restless from not working and staying alone all day, and the fact that maybe i've been unhappy with him for blardy long. but put urself in the same shit that i am and maybe u'll feel the same way too.