i realise i get pretty affected by things, specifically people. around me, past and present.

for one, i saw a testimonial on one of my ex's friendster. from his gf to him, n for what he wrote for her. its been many years since we broke up, but looking at that, i still feel a twinge. maybe the feeling of "my territory" dies hard, really hard. they're happy tghr, i am happy for them, and i dont have anymore feelings towards him. but there's that very slight jealous feeling.

for an old fling, he just got a girl. i know i never meant anything to him, but sometimes i just wish i did. he's self centered on top of a ton of vices.

maybe i get possessive about the guys ard me that im close to, and have been close to once. thats y i no longer trust anything a guy tells me. whether he likes me, whether he wants to go after me, whatever. i've long had that i-dont-give-a-fucking-shit attitude towards guys. its kind of an emotional armour. i may fall for a guy, but i'll tell myself and the people around me that its nothing. have been hurt once and its more than enough. i dont want to put myself in a vulnerable position anymore where someone could potentially hurt me.

even so, i've been hurt again and again. the last time a few months back; i may have put myself in the same situation of vulnerability again. so u know what? i will never believe anything a guy says to me anymore. especially one who is glib and probably never serious in the first place.

sounds dumb huh. i think i'm a pretty smart girl (seriously - not being boastful or arrogant). but i dont understand why i allow myself to be hurt again and again. i even get dreams about him. its causing me to lose beauty sleep and somehow affecting me at work. seriously trying to channel all focus and energy to sales. *i wish and i wish, that somehow u will leave; and let my have my peace*

been a damn bloody slack week. totally no mood to work or to call. so had a lot of chit chat, a lot of fun and testing limits of being defiant to boss *kidding* somehow it seems that being so slack makes me alot more relaxed and happy. been in a happy mood this week somehow. seriously wonder y.

i think i'm losing my touch, either that or i'm just having a lousy day. first day back at work and im having SUPER lousy business and i cant fix any appointments either. its damn blardy demoralising and i dont need ppl to suan me about not closing on top of it.

and frankly i dont know y there's something about u that bugs me. i really dont know what u are thinking, don't know if u ever mean what u say. and for the last couple of hours i cant stop thinking about u. not sure if i said something wrong, maybe i did. but i've tried talking to u and u simply wont respond. so if thats the way u want it, i wont bother about u anymore. anyway i dont ever think u were serious about anything to start off with. so i just simply wont bother with u anymore. from now on, just go ahead and do whatever u want. and all i need is to stop thinking about u.

out of the 4 of us here, so far i'm the shopaholic winner with 9 pairs of shoes and TONS of clothes. the forever 21 shop here is so huge, and i bought tons and tons of dresses. colours like tangerine, yellow, turqoise, navy, green, black... and tons of tops and accessories and whatever. the soft bag i filled with shopping is already larger than the original suitcase i brought over. and the trip is only half over! i seriously ccannot step into another shoe shop coz everytime i go in, i buy something else. its crazy. and i love it =)

in san francisco now and its like 1.30am here. sooo tired...shopped like mad this afternoon....

SEVEN pairs of high heels in half hour.... i've never been that mad before. i love love love all the new shoes. good thing i got out of the shoe section in macy's b4 i did anymore damage to the credit card. went to sephora as well, picked out lotsa little miniature versions of toiletries. yes i know its inane but if u know me u'll know that i love cute stuff to bits. i buy and hoarde lots of them.

going to sleeep....seriously seriously tired plus jet lagged. shops open at 9.30 and there's a whole row of shops i want to hit. 7 and counting.... and i still want to go fisherman's wharf and pier 39 at some pt.

i've forgotten how good it feels not to work.

been soooooooo busy the whole damn week. worked pretty hard this week to bring up my sales before i leave for the states in about 24 hours. ok lah not bad, i managed to achieve the revenue points i set for myself. should hit threshold and earn $$$$$ comfortably this month if i can work this hard for the 2nd half of april after i return.

anywayyyyyy.... i wanted to take a break this morning and go for a swim. and the weather looks good...sunny. but i better get my ass back to office early coz a whole truckload of shit happened yesterday afternoon....

3 complain cases and my office laptop broke down!!!!!!!!!

tmd...the blardy laptop is always acting up, this laptop model is always giving problems. me and jess have the same model and each laptop has had a key drop off. so now the "P" on my laptop got no cap, u basically have to press this tiny stick-thingy that activates "P" on the lappy. and to top it off, my laptop suddenly cannot turn on yesterday evening!!!!!!! just when i need it most.... sooooo fucked up. more or less managed to settle the 3 complains without much trouble, i think it wont get turned into big complain cases. but i spent the whole damn afternoon servicing the stupid shit!

i admit sometimes i'm careless &/or messy (hahaha) and it does cost me a LOT for those mistakes when i'm working in the bank.

going SF tomorrow for a week.... i'm happy to be going but i also don't want to go. i need the break but i'm kinda turning into a workaholic and i'll feel funny relaxing when i know everyone here is working hard for sales. maybe there'll be ppl here i'll miss tooo..... but then again i'll rather not think so much.

to CE sam - yesh i havent seen u in eternity like since convo last year can???? ure the busy one! when r u going to meet me?

to felicia - babe sorry i missed u the last time u came back to spore. come back again soon, we can catch up then ok?

last night had a good time at o bar again with the LT10 ppl. it was a huge crowd n basically had a good night of catching up and suan-ing everyone. thanks to sam-female's photo-whoring, i have more than enuf pics to showcase =) Here's some of the classics.


me and sam b4 we headed to MS. we look damn good right hahaha...

the 3 birthday fellas... happy happy belated bday guys.

classic jeric expression

after ben the photographer cut out david 4x, we finally get a shot with him haha.

beng messing up a otherwise great photo haha...

me with sam-female and sam-male. =)

sam-female's camera captured a good shot - david blowing out smoke.

the guys munking around... david acting gay again haha...
table generally looked like that all night. don't count the jugs.

ben giving me a drunken lecture...